Why do we react as we do? Why do certain faults keep reappearing? Can our character really change? We sometimes ask these questions about ourselves, and at other times about the people around us. A Christian approaches them in the light of a larger calling. We are not simply trying to become more agreeable, effective, or emotionally balanced. We want to become like Jesus Christ and allow him to act more fully in our lives. Grace does not erase our humanity or replace our personality with something foreign. It heals and elevates everything genuinely human in us, so that our own way of being may gradually reflect the life of Christ.
Christ is true God and true man, perfectus Deus, perfectus homo. In him we see not only the revelation of God but the fullness of humanity. Saint John Paul II taught that Christ the Redeemer fully reveals man to himself, restoring to us an understanding of the greatness, dignity, and value that belong to our human condition. We understand ourselves most truthfully when we look to him. He shows us what human freedom, affection, courage, work, friendship, suffering, and self-giving are meant to become.
The new life received at Baptism is intended to grow until we reach, in the words of Saint Paul, “mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.” The supernatural element is decisive in this process because grace unites and harmonizes the different dimensions of our life. Yet this supernatural transformation includes our human development rather than rendering it unnecessary. Saint Josemaría insisted that God wants us to be deeply human. Our heads may touch Heaven, but our feet must remain firmly on the ground. Christ did not redeem us so that we might cease to be human, but so that every genuinely human quality in us might be purified and brought to fulfilment. The Christian is therefore called to be both very human and very divine, following the One who is perfect God and perfect man.
The Work of Forming Our Character
Grace works in harmony with the growth of human maturity. As we cultivate faith, hope, and charity, we must also develop the habits of thought and conduct that belong to a balanced and responsible person. We seek these qualities not merely because we want to perfect ourselves, but because we want Christ to be recognizable in our lives.
Saint Josemaría once asked where other people would find the Christ they were seeking in us. Would they find him in our pride, our stubbornness, our desire to impose ourselves, or in those small defects of character that we refuse to correct? Christ cannot be reflected through attitudes that contradict his life. We certainly need to possess our own personality, but we must also try to make it conform to his.
Our personality is shaped by many influences. We inherit a temperament that begins to show itself from childhood, and this natural disposition is affected over time by our upbringing, decisions, relationships, experiences, and life with God. Some of these influences are clear to us, while others operate more deeply and may remain partly unconscious. The result is the great variety found among human beings. Some are outgoing and spontaneous; others are reserved. Some approach life with energy, while others are naturally cautious or apprehensive.
These differences affect the way we work, relate to others, and interpret events. They can make certain virtues easier to acquire while leaving us more exposed to particular defects. An enterprising person may find it easier to take initiative and work energetically, but may also be tempted by activism or inconstancy. A cautious person may develop sound judgment and prudence, but may need to struggle against indecision. Our temperament is neither a virtue nor a fault in itself. It provides the raw material with which we cooperate with grace.
God counts on our personality in leading us to holiness. Our way of being is like a field that must be cultivated. The stones and weeds that hinder growth need to be removed patiently, while the good seed already present must be protected and nourished. As this work continues, grace can produce fruit in abundance. Every man and woman can make fruitful the talents received from God by allowing the Holy Spirit to transform them.
This transformation does not make people indistinguishable from one another. The saints were not copies of a single human type. Saint Josemaría emphasized that we should be different from one another, just as the saints in Heaven retain their personal and special characteristics. Holiness does not flatten personality. It frees us from the distortions produced by pride, fear, selfishness, and sin, allowing our truest personality to emerge.
We are therefore not trying to become some idealized “superman.” Our model is Jesus Christ, whose humanity was perfect without being artificial or exaggerated. We also find in the Blessed Virgin the fullness of a normal and attractive human life. Her humility, simplicity, closeness, and maternal affection reveal the beauty of a creature entirely open to grace. Mary’s greatness did not make her less human. She was fully herself because she belonged completely to God.
Human and Supernatural Maturity
The word maturity suggests ripeness or full development. For the Christian, its most complete expression is found in Christ. The Gospels show us his way of dealing with people, his fortitude in suffering, and his unwavering commitment to the mission received from the Father. He was compassionate without weakness and decisive without harshness. He knew when to speak and when to remain silent. He welcomed sinners while clearly rejecting sin. His whole life was unified by love for the Father and by the desire to save us.
The Christian tradition has always valued the genuine insights about human maturity found in different cultures. The Fathers of the Church drew upon the best elements of the Greco-Roman world, where wisdom and prudence held an important place in the ideal of a mature person. They purified and enriched this understanding through the light of the Gospel, showing that charity gives unity and direction to all the virtues.
Modern study of the human person has added helpful insights into intellectual, emotional, and social development, provided these are grounded in a true understanding of human nature. Intellectual maturity includes knowing ourselves realistically, possessing clear purposes, judging situations carefully, and maintaining a coherent set of values. It also requires creativity and initiative, together with the willingness to revise our judgment when the facts demand it.
Emotional maturity appears in the way we respond to events. A mature person is not crushed by failure or carried away by success. He can govern his reactions without suppressing them and can remain faithful to decisions when enthusiasm fades. He is capable of affection and generous self-giving, and he faces difficulty without allowing fear or discouragement to take control of his life. Good humour and a hopeful outlook also form part of this balance.
Social maturity is shown in sincere concern for others. We respect their rights, take their needs seriously, and try to understand people whose opinions or cultural background differ from our own. This openness does not require us to surrender judgment or conform to every prevailing fashion. Mature people can resist social pressure, think critically, listen carefully, and work constructively with others. Their conduct is natural because it arises from conviction rather than from mere convention.
These aspects of maturity should not be separated too sharply. Our thinking, emotions, relationships, and moral choices continually influence one another. A person may possess considerable intellectual ability yet remain emotionally unstable or unable to work with others. Someone else may be warm and generous but lack the consistency needed to fulfil commitments. Christian maturity seeks the harmonious development of the whole person under the direction of grace.
A Gradual Path
We might describe a mature person as someone capable of forming a noble and coherent plan of life and pursuing it with confidence and perseverance. Yet maturity is never acquired all at once. It unfolds through stages and usually requires many years. Certain events may produce rapid growth because they suddenly confront us with new responsibilities or reveal what truly matters. The birth of a first child, a serious illness, financial hardship, or the loss of someone close can lead us to reassess our priorities and leave behind attitudes that once seemed acceptable.
Grace can also bring about profound changes. The saints often display a remarkable unity of life, strong convictions, creativity, generosity, and the ability to spread peace. These qualities did not arise merely from natural temperament. They were the fruit of a sustained response to God.
Saint Josemaría provides a clear example. From his youth he sensed that God had placed in his soul an unusual capacity to possess and communicate peace. This gift did not spare him difficulty. His maturity grew as he confronted opposition, uncertainty, and suffering while remaining faithful to the mission he had received. What appears in the saints as strength of character is usually the result of grace working through years of struggle, failure, repentance, and renewed effort.
God’s action does not eliminate the normal rhythm of human growth. Even when grace produces a sudden conversion or a decisive new beginning, our character must still be formed through daily choices. We learn patience by being patient in concrete situations, constancy by persevering when the work becomes tedious, and humility by accepting correction when it wounds our pride. We gradually become what we repeatedly choose.
Relying on Grace and Time
The task of improving our character continues throughout life. We may reach a real degree of maturity, yet there will always remain aspects of our way of being that need purification. Self-knowledge and acceptance of our temperament help us undertake this work without discouragement. We should neither resign ourselves to our defects nor imagine that holiness requires a flawless personality.
The heroism of Christian life normally consists in a patient daily struggle. We recognize our mistakes, ask forgiveness, and begin again. Saint Josemaría observed that the true stories of Christian heroes resemble our own experience: they fought and won, they fought and lost, and then, repentant, returned to the struggle. The saints were not people who never fell. They became holy because they trusted God more than they trusted their failures.
God counts on the effort we sustain over time. Small acts of self-mastery, repeated through the years, can bring about changes that once seemed impossible. The experience of Dora del Hoyo illustrates this. Near the end of her life, someone who had known her years earlier remarked that she seemed like a different person. Dora laughed because she understood what was meant. Her naturally strong temperament had not disappeared, but over time grace and steady effort had given her greater equanimity.
We can often become discouraged because we expect change to occur more quickly. After resolving to correct a defect, we may be disappointed to find ourselves reacting in the same way again. Yet growth is seldom a straight line. We make progress, relapse, understand ourselves more clearly, and begin again with greater humility. God can make use even of our repeated failures if they teach us to rely less upon our own strength and more upon his grace.
Acceptance of our character is therefore essential, but it must be correctly understood. It does not mean saying, “This is simply the way I am,” whenever effort is required. Such an attitude turns temperament into an excuse. Genuine acceptance means recognizing the particular material God has given us and working with it patiently. We cannot begin from an imaginary personality. We must become holy with the temperament, history, limitations, and gifts that are actually ours.
It is also helpful to remember that many defects have another side that can be directed towards good. A strong temperament may become perseverance and courage when purified of impatience. Sensitivity can develop into compassion when it is freed from excessive concern about ourselves. Caution can become prudence when it is no longer governed by fear. Grace does not merely suppress what is difficult in us; it redirects and transforms it.
Throughout this work, we rely upon the help of Christ and the maternal care of Mary. Pope Francis has said that Our Lady helps us to grow both humanly and in faith, strengthening us so that we do not remain superficial Christians but learn to live responsibly and aim at what is highest. Mary understands our weakness and does not become impatient with the slowness of our growth. She leads us steadily to her Son, in whom our humanity finds its perfection.
The formation of a Christian personality is therefore both a demanding task and a source of hope. The Holy Spirit seeks to build within us a life that is firm, harmonious, and recognizably shaped by Christ. Our cooperation is necessary, but the work is not ours alone. God knows the material with which he is working, including the defects that discourage us and the possibilities we have not yet discovered.
We do not need to become someone else before Christ can be present in us. We need to allow him to purify and elevate the person we already are. As this transformation advances, our own personality does not disappear. It becomes freer, more generous, and more fully itself. The aim is not an artificial perfection but a human life brought into harmony with grace, so that those who meet us may encounter something of the mind, heart, and character of Jesus Christ.
By the Via Virtutis team
