Are you a true follower of Jesus or just a fan?

Jesus never had problems attracting people to his ministry. Word about his movement spread quickly and large crowds from throughout the region came out to see him. They were impressed by his dynamic teaching, which made him stand out from other teachers of his day: This man teaches “as one who [has] authority, and not as the scribes” (Mk 1:22). They also were intrigued by his many healings and miracles: “We never saw anything like this!” (Mk 2:12). They even saw him as a great leader—a prophet and the long-awaited Messiah-King (see Jn 6:14-15)— someone they could rally around in the hopes that he would give them a better life.

So Jesus had high approval ratings for much of his public ministry. He had many fans. But he was looking for more than that. He was looking for souls who would follow him completely, as disciples.

And the same is true today.

There are many of us who wear various Catholic “badges”—perhaps we attend Catholic conferences, show up at parish events, say certain prayers, enjoy fellowship with other like-minded believers, listen to Catholic radio, and vote for the “right” political candidate. From all outward appearances, we seem to be very interested in Catholic things. But inside, are we truly committed to the Lord? Have we surrendered our lives to Christ, seeking to fulfill his plan for our lives and not our own?

In other words, are we merely fans of Jesus or true followers? As in his own day, Jesus now is

looking for souls who are willing to do more than the crowds who are fascinated by all things Catholic. He’s looking for those who are willing to do what he wants them to do, say what he wants them to say, go where he wants them to go, and give up whatever he wants them to give up. That’s a lot more than being a fan. In other words, Jesus is looking for souls willing to give a total commitment to him as disciples.

Not Just a Part of Our Lives, but the Center

Following Jesus as a disciple represents a decisive turning point in a person’s life—a major break with the past and a complete reordering of priorities, which now will be centered on the Person of Jesus Christ. Things we used to think were really important—money, success, comfort, possessions, reputation, dreams for our kids, certain relationships we thought would fulfill us—are now seen through the lens of Jesus. This doesn’t necessarily mean we must give up all our dreams, hopes, possessions, and enjoyments of this world. But we must put our relationship with Jesus above all these things.

Here’s the key: Jesus doesn’t just want to be a part of our lives; he wants to be at the very center. He wants to be the number one thing in our lives. “Seek first his kingdom” (Mt 6:33). And if we do that—if we truly put Jesus first above everything else in our lives—then we find that all those other desires, dreams, and concerns will sort themselves out. “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well” (Mt 6:33, emphasis added). For God’s plans are bigger than our own. He knows what’s best for us, and he wants us to be happy more than we do. Will we entrust our lives to him? Will we seek his plan for our lives? Or will we cling to our control and only surrender certain parts of our lives to him?

Where Is Your Treasure?

For me, a critical turning point in my faith came in my young adult years. I was raised Catholic and had never left the Church. I went to Mass each week and was involved in my parish probably more than most young adults were. I wanted to grow in my faith and even participated in some Catholic activities that helped me do that. I was a part of the crowd—believing in God and practicing my faith, but not yet surrendering my life to him.

In those years, Jesus was truly a part of my life. But, if I had to be honest, he wasn’t at the center. There were many other things that competed for my attention and won: getting good grades, getting a good job, success, having a girlfriend, having fun. And while there was nothing wrong with pursuing any of those things, they became more important to me than my relationship with God. I treasured those things more. And that tells you something about my heart at that time. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Mt 6:21).

But God used two pivotal moments in those years to turn my life around and bring me closer to him.

Are You Happy?

First, a friend once asked me a very simple question when we were out for coffee catching up: “So, are you happy?”

No one had ever asked me that question before. It made me a little uncomfortable because it challenged me to look inside more than I was used to. I nervously replied, “Happy? Uh… well… I guess so. Yeah, I’m happy.”

My friend just sat and listened. He said nothing, letting the silence linger, waiting to see if I would say anything more. I felt more uncomfortable and said, “Oh sure, I’m happy. I’ve got good grades. I won an internship. Our band is playing well together. I’ve got a girlfriend Yeah, I’m happy.”

But I left that conversation rattled. Unsettled. For weeks, his simple question haunted me: “Are you happy?” I slowly began to realize that, deep down, I wasn’t really happy. Yes, on the outside it looked as if I had it all—everything the world would want. But on the inside, I was empty, searching for something more. I had certain fears, insecurities, and worries about where my life was going. I definitely wasn’t satisfied with my life. Looking back, I could say with the great St. Augustine that my heart was restless because it did not rest in God.

Surrender

That conversation paved the way for a turning point experience that would come some time later. I went on a weekend retreat with some other young adults. At the climax of the retreat on Saturday night, a priest gave a reflection on the Gospel story about the rich young man. I had heard the story before, but never spelled out quite like this.

The priest pointed out how impressive this young man was. He wanted a good relationship with God. He even approached Jesus, asking him what he needed to do to inherit eternal life. Jesus told him to follow the commandments, and the man responded he did that already. What an impressive young man! How many people can say they follow all the commandments?

But the young man didn’t stop there. He wanted to do more for God, and he asked Jesus what else he should do. Think about that: This obedient, law-abiding Jewish man wanted to do whatever he could to follow God. What a good heart. Jesus, however, pointed out one thing he still lacked. Jesus challenged him to be willing to give up everything and follow him.

At that, however, the young man held back. He loved God and wanted to follow Jesus, but he could not take that most crucial step of faith—saying yes to Jesus, surrendering his life to Christ, giving up everything, putting Jesus first, and following him. Instead, he turned away sad.

I had never heard this scene drawn out so much as I did that night. And I had never felt so personally right in the middle of a biblical story. In the chapel that night, I realized I was that young man—I did the right things, said the right things, acted in the right way, and sincerely wanted to follow God, but I was unwilling to entrust my entire life into Jesus’s hands and put him first in my life as Lord.

I stayed in the chapel late that night. Long after everyone else left and went to bed, I knew what I needed to do. I got on my knees and told Jesus I didn’t want to be the rich young man. I didn’t want to walk away sad. I wanted to give my life to him. I wanted to follow him fully, not just in part. I wanted to surrender my life to him unconditionally and seek his will, not my own. I didn’t use the biblical language we have been discussing in this book, but the point was the same. I was basically telling Jesus I wanted to follow him unconditionally as a disciple.

Take, Lord, and Receive .. .

Have you ever said a prayer like that before—a prayer of surrender, placing your entire life in God’s hands? It’s a wonderful thing to do, something many saints have done in different ways. And even if we have said a similar prayer in the past, it’s still a good thing to renew this commitment to Christ regularly.

Too often, the best of us easily fall back into old habits. We forget that God is really in charge. We get too caught up in our own busyness and pursuits. When I wake up in the morning, do I think about what I want to do today, or do I ask the Lord how he wants to use my life to serve him, my spouse, my friends, and my community? In other words, do I fall into doing what I want with my life—using my life for my purposes? Or do I sincerely seek first the Kingdom and pursue what Christ wants—using my life for his purposes and not my own?

One great prayer from the Catholic tradition that helps us welcome Christ’s lordship in our lives comes from St. Ignatius of Loyola. Whether you have recited a prayer of surrender long ago or are doing it for the first time, you can pause now and maybe even kneel down to pray with these beautiful words of St. Ignatius that help us entrust our lives to Jesus, putting his plan for our lives before our own.

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O Lord, I return it. All is Thine; dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and Thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.

Seek First the Kingdom

When we truly welcome Jesus as Lord of our lives, we experience a great mystery. It’s the mystery of self-giving. When I give up control over my life—my plans, my hopes, my desires—and entrust it all into the hands of God, when I follow his moral teachings and live according to the way he made me, I actually discover fullness of life at a deeper level because I’m surrendering my life to God’s plan, which is so much greater than my own.

That’s what happened to countless other Christians who have committed their lives to Christ. Their lives are changed. There’s a deeper peace, joy, and sense of purpose that comes when we live for Christ and not for ourselves. Problems don’t go away. Suffering still exists. We still face many challenges. But we see those trials now as crosses and not as random occasions of suffering or “bad luck.” And we realize we are not alone. Jesus is truly there to help us through them.

Looking back on that conversation over coffee, I’m so grateful for my friend’s question. If he asked me today “Are you happy?” there would be no hesitation or awkwardness. I’d give a wholehearted “Yes!” That doesn’t mean I’ve got it all figured out now. I’m still very much a work in progress and have a long way to go in my discipleship. And I experience times of sorrow, frustration, and disappointment like every human being does. But my fundamental identity in Christ has made one thing clear: with Jesus as Lord of my life, I have experienced deep, lasting joy, peace, and purpose I never had before.

Excerpt from Edward Sri, Into His Likeness, pp. 13–20